^ nothing.
i remember being in high school and having a very vivid idea of what my life would be like in the future.
blame it on
the hills, naivety or whatever but i really thought i'd, and excuse my french, have my sh*t together by now.
i remember sitting back, watching lauren and co. live out their fabulous 20's and dreaming of the day.
lauren lived in an amazing condo in downtown la (though, i know realize MTV may have foot the bill) and had her dream job at teen vogue.
there were endless nights outs on the town, designer handbags, cute boys, luxury cars, blah blah blah.
though not as luxurious, these were things i, too, expected to have in my 20's.
welp, i'm a couple years into my 20's and can honestly say that the hills was a damn lie.
thus far:
- i don't live in my own house fully furnished by pottery barn.
hell, i'm no where near being able to purchase my own place, especially not in toronto.
- i don't have my dream job.
to be quite honest, i don't even really know what it is i truly want to do...
- i would have sworn that i'd have at least fiancé if not husband by now but alas, i only attract crazies.
#partyofone
- i don't have a large group of girlfriends with whom i paint the town red every weekend.
now a days, most weekends are spent with the bae.
bae being netflix.
but you know what i
do have?
- a roof over my head and a bed to lay my head down every night.
- hands down, the most amazing family this world has ever known.
- a small number of friends whom i truly consider family.
quality over quantity, guys.
quality over quantity.
- the opportunity to challenge myself both academically and artistically.
- a job that not only provides me with the income to support my interests but also, the opportunity to spend quality time with seniors who continually provide me with a wealth of knowledge.
- my health.
i mean, the fact that i'm just sitting here, breathing, is something to rejoice over as this is a privilege i know many will have taken away from them today.
when i look at things from this perspective, i realize how blessed i am.
yes, i am no where close to living the life i thought i was going to lead when i was in my teens.
and sure, sometimes i get a little down when i think about it.
but i wholeheartedly believe that where i am right now is exactly where i'm supposed to be and that brings me peace.
that and this image i came across earlier this week:
so, to anyone who's in their 20's and may be feeling just as lost as i am...*group hug.
yes, we may not be where we intended to be but as long as we're working towards whatever it is we want, we'll achieve them in good time.
*vitrual cheers!
:)
vanessa
ps. on a completely unrelated note, as a fan of MTV's the challenge (my not-so-guilty pleasure), i was truly saddened to hear about the passing of
diem brown.
on the show, diem was always very open and candid about her battle with cancer.
i didn't know her personally but i always admired the positive attitude and strength she exuded despite her illness.
though, she left the world yesterday, she leaves behind her legacy and
medgift.com, a crowd funding site she created to provide both financial and emotional support to those going through medical experiences.
i'm not one for cursing but fuck cancer, for real.
rest in paradise, diem.